December 14, 2010
Dear Diary,
OMG we finally finished that stupid Trusteeship hearing today. Everyone was super mean to me and barely let me talk at all. I started crying and Todd C. asked for a recess. After Todd C. blew my nose and put cold water on my face he said I shouldn't cry because our case was actually going better the less I talked. Johnny G. said he thought the hearing was going well but Kermit W. said that's because he doesn't know his a**hole from a hole in the ground and cuffed him across the ear. Those two started slapping each other until Kermit W. wrestled Johnny G. to the ground. Kermit W. held him down until Johnny G. said "I'm Kermit's bitch" loud enough for everyone to hear even outside of the ladies room.
I really didn't understand very much about what happened today. Kevin H. and a bunch of members talked all serious about how I violated this and that section of the By-laws and Constitution. After like four hours of these crybabies droning on about whatever I needed my afternoon nap and some "alone" time with Patrick D. Todd C. said absolutely not but if I was good for the rest of the day he would ask Chilla if I could have a sleepover with Patrick D at her house. I made Todd C. pinkie promise. I said it would only take me like one minute to respond to everything about the "violations". Todd C. didn't want me talk but I reminded him he worked for me and that maybe I should spend some "alone" time with him. Todd C. started sweating real bad and said "fine you talk John". So I stood up and said "There are no violations because you're not the boss of me." Everyone got real quiet except for Kevin H. who said he wanted to make sure he heard exactly what I just said. I could tell Mr. Smarty Pants never thought about my answer to all his "violations" so I looked right at him and used my outdoor voice to yell "WHAT ARE YOU DEAF, I SAID THERE ARE NO VIOLATIONS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME." Todd C. must have caught a super fast acting stomach virus because he puked right on me and the mean guy running the hearing said "On that note I think we can close the record.
