December 15,2010
Dear Diary,
I was super excited yesterday because we finally finished the stupid Trusteeship hearing and Johnny G. promised to take us out dancing to celebrate! I thought I did great at the hearing even if I cried three times because the members were being really mean. Donny W. was all doom and gloom and said "great we got bitch slapped again by Kevin H." Todd C. told me not to mind Donny W. because he's depressed all the time anyway because "Chilla beats him like a mule." I'm was really afraid of Chilla even before I heard about that. Whenever I go to her house I have to call her Mrs. Weimer or she yells.
I called Patrick D. and told him about going dancing tonight and that he should wear the special outfit I bought for him at Deja Vue. He starting making excuses about having to work late but I told him that if he didn't want to go dancing we could have a sleepover tonight at Chilla's instead. Patrick D. stopped being a bad mood Louie and agreed to meet us over at Kermit W.'s house at 10 so we can do hair and make-up in between jello shots. Johnny G. said he would help me put in my extensions and I decided to make Joe R.. give everyone a mani-pedi. To try and cheer up poor Donny W. I thought we should play "Pretty Pretty Princess" after we get dressed.
As we we started getting dressed Todd C. threw an absolute fit because he said it was totally unfair that he always had to wear the leather gimp outfit from "Pulp Fiction" that I bought him for his birthday. OMG it's not like we lock him up in a chest all night like in the movie. He finally agreed to wear it tonight if we promised to leave his mouth unzipped. Kermit W. whispered in my ear that Todd C. was going to regret his mouth being unzipped before the night was over. Patrick D. looked HOT dressed as a sexy pirate wench! I worn my Captain Crunch costume. We are such a cute couple. I must say Johnny G. looked SMOKING dressed as Daisy Duke. Kermit W. said he had business to attend to tonight and just dressed in his street clothes but Johnny G. said Kermit W. looked like Pimp Daddy. Kermit W. overheard him and that started another cat fight. Poor Donny Weimer. Chilla made him dress like the sailor from Village People.
I helped Kermit make the shots. We used cherry jello and grain alcohol. Kermit also had me add his secret ingredient called "happy-dancing powder" that we made by crushing up these little blue pills with a smurf stamped on one side. Kermit W. made me promise not to tell anyone about the secret ingredient. We each had like six jello shots and got totally hammered. Luckily I used the union credit card to order a limo and reserve a suite at the Wynn. While we were waiting for the limo I plugged my Ipod into the stereo so Patrick and I could dance. I put on "Nasty Girl" by Nitty and in like ten seconds everyone was dancing like crazy.
We jumped into the limo and told the driver to take us to the hottest club in town. He said there was a tranny bar on Karen Street called the Las Vegas Club that would be the perfect place for guys like us to start the evening. On the way I started to feel real happy and I realized that I loved everyone and maybe if I told some of the mean members they would love me back. I asked Donny W. for his cell phone and called Kevin H. He answered the phone and I said "I just wanted to tell you I love you man." Kevin said if I ever called him again he would stick a 2x4 up my ass and hung up. Talk about being mean. I didn't let that ruin my mood so I called Tommy B. and said the same thing. Tommy B. said I was a "punk a** bitch" and hung up. I started to dial Wayne K. but Kermit grabbed the phone out of my hand because we were pulling up to the club.
TO BE CONTINUED
